firstworldproblem | IC Inbox (Imeeji)

...That's true.

[He grins, like that's actually a good idea and he's excited about it?]

Okay, Common Law: no one can take damage from a fall!

There!

Perfect.

....Come here.

[Getting up is so much effort he'll throw you off the roof later.]

[Honestly he thinks he's coming over to get thrown from the roof? And he's cool with that, sounds dumb, dumb is fun. So he comes over and offers a hand up. Because clearly they're going to the roof now.]

[Well if he's being pulled...!

He pulls back! ha! This is winning]

[He's bigger!!! But he's so unsteady it hardly takes anything to pull him down. Head first, so he mostly lands on his neck, and just whines.]

[Pats his hair, there there]

[It probably counts as fall damage though so? Doesn't actually hurt, hey.

He will, however, push on Lahabrea's face.]

you stupid drunken old man.

You're a drunken old man.

And a fool.

-- why am I a fool? And you're like a billion years older than me, old man.

Don't be logical I'm too drunk for it.

You are a fool though. Refusing help. Going to hell. Splitting your soul.

[Sitting up!]

That's it.

I am throwing you off the roof.

Throw me off the roof, old man! Do it! That'll help with my intimacy issues!

[He's absolutely laughing though.]

You... Will be fine. Help me up. I can't throw you off on my own.

That's what I was trying to do.

[Once he pulls himself back up he can try to offer help again though.]

[Together they will manage to get an extremely unsteady Lahabrea to his feet.]

Come along.

[He says, leaning heavily on Vergil.]

[Since when is leaning on another drink guy a good idea. He puts an arm around Lahabrea's shoulders to try to make it better but they're still wobbly.]

I'm coming. Lead the way.

[Is any of this in the same realm or planet as good ideas??]

Forward.

[Gonna try to get them out to the balcony somehow. Do they make it? Do they fall over in a heap on the way? Really it could be either.]

[ok fair, they are going to go jump off the balcony. for fun?]

I'm sure you'd like me to be but I'm not a horse!

[But he's still listening to the command. They have Vergil's size working against them really, he sways, and bumps into every piece of furniture possible, there's more of him to have to work against gravity. Eventually he trips over his own feet, starts to tumble, and ensures Lahabrea is pulled down with him by trying to use him to steady himself.]

[Press F to pay respects to being upright.

He tries to catch them both but uh, down they go.

Thank goodness for Vergil's common law. No matter how badly they crash they're not even a little bruised.]

...This was not as intended.

What d'you expect... You're so drunk. You fool.

[Like he wasn't the one who made them fall, but. Look. It's because Lahabrea was leaning on him. He pushes on this stupid old man to get up, trying to shove him to his feet.]

Let's go. Balcony, bal-co-ny!

You're the one... Who came here to get pushed off a building...

[He uses Vergil's help to get up, wobbles, and then offers Vergil his hand. Thank goodness Thancred is strong enough to probably help pull someone up even drunk.]

[Good thing he isn't a noodley little mage huh. He takes the hand, and at least every day is leg day for his fighting style so he probably has a lot of leg strength to help push himself up from that angle.]

You told me to come get pushed off a building.

...Emet-Selch told me to come, because you missed me. You're just taking advantage. I didn't even do anything to get pushed off a building...

[Good thing! He wobbles and steadies, putting a hand on Vergil's arm as the room gently sways.]

How can I miss you I just saw you.

...He called you over because I said I like you. And I haven't liked anyone new in eons. He's matchmaking. Friendshipmaking. As if I need the help.

[He needs the help so badly.]

...You deserve being pushed off a building for vexing me.

Well I'm - I like you a lot, you're my best friend.

[He pokes Lahabrea's chest, hard.]

And I didn't like anybody. Ssso you can push me off a building. I still don't get why.

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