firstworldproblem | IC Inbox (Imeeji)

[He mumbles.]

I know. Somehow I'm still alive so far.

You do seem to be surviving admirably.

No thanks to you.

[He gives Lahabrea a shove.]

[He laughs and stumbles a little, clinging to the railing so he doesn't tip over.]

I haven't even pushed you off any roofs. Or mayhaps that is the issue?

Mayhaps it's your cruelty in forcing me to have feelings. Which I guess includes not pushing me off a roof, yeah.

You poor thing.

I know. I'm very hard done by. You're cruel as ever to me.

That's just your lot I'm afraid. What sort of friend am I? I won't even throw you off a roof. You might have terrible taste.

A terrible friend and a terrible villain to boot. Wouldn't it be the ultimate betrayal to have lured me in only to run me through and push me from the roof?

We're adding impalement to my fiendish deeds? Why wasn't I informed??

Because it would be dramatic. Especially if you were to do it now, it would be with my own sword even. How devilish of you.

Also because I was going to impale you, it only makes sense.

I suppose that sort of betrayal would be in keeping with my general mode of operations. The last moment look of despair as I crush your hopes and dreams etc.

[He grins.]

Oh, yes, that's exactly what I mean, you understand perfectly.

I have been at my villainy for a little while.

So it seems, and yet you're holding out on me.

[He hms consideringly and then, rather wobbly, attempts to climb up onto the rail.]

Come on then.

.....What are you doing?

[He grabs at Lahabrea's arm, not necessarily trying to pull him down.]

[Well that does keep him from falling off probably.]

Aren't we going?

What, both of us?

[.......he shouldn't be encouraging this. But he's grinning.]

Well I don't feel like watching you go alone. And you seemed almost disappointed there was to be no falling.

I'm just disappointed you lost your nerve after making a big fuss over it.

[He starts climbing onto the rail too, though, still holding Lahabrea's arm.]

Go on, if I'm so vexing.

Who lost the nerve!

[He will try to help steady Vergil until he's up there, then attempt to shove him off but you know, they're holding onto each other so there's that.]

You did, you lost it, I'd still stab you!

[And they should probably hope that the sword remains sheathed during the fall, actually. Because seeing how useless this is, after a moment of the shoving, he just smiles at Lahabrea and uses his own weight to hurl them both off together.]

[He actually laughs because he is drunk and this is hilarious and it's a long fucking fall.]

[Absolutely remarkable. Vergil laughs too, because he is also drunk and it would be hilarious even if he wasn't probably just because he's an idiot and clearly bonding is done by mutually assured destruction and violence.

Good thing for Common Law, because when they finally do fall a dozen stories, and slam into the ground, it's just fine! And therefore he can laugh all the more and casually reach out to pat Lahabrea's shoulder or whatever he can get at.]

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