firstworldproblem | IC Inbox (Imeeji)

You're the one... Who came here to get pushed off a building...

[He uses Vergil's help to get up, wobbles, and then offers Vergil his hand. Thank goodness Thancred is strong enough to probably help pull someone up even drunk.]

[Good thing he isn't a noodley little mage huh. He takes the hand, and at least every day is leg day for his fighting style so he probably has a lot of leg strength to help push himself up from that angle.]

You told me to come get pushed off a building.

...Emet-Selch told me to come, because you missed me. You're just taking advantage. I didn't even do anything to get pushed off a building...

[Good thing! He wobbles and steadies, putting a hand on Vergil's arm as the room gently sways.]

How can I miss you I just saw you.

...He called you over because I said I like you. And I haven't liked anyone new in eons. He's matchmaking. Friendshipmaking. As if I need the help.

[He needs the help so badly.]

...You deserve being pushed off a building for vexing me.

Well I'm - I like you a lot, you're my best friend.

[He pokes Lahabrea's chest, hard.]

And I didn't like anybody. Ssso you can push me off a building. I still don't get why.

[He nearly tips over but rights himself, and makes a face.]

Well. How am I supposed to throw you off the roof now?

There. You've vexed me twice. Foolish, insolent mortal.

...I need to sit the room is swaying.

[He push/herds Vergil to a chair because who knows maybe we made it to the balcony! But he's sitting and leaning on the bar there, holding on while things steady.]

Nnn...

[He pushes himself up a little.]

I don't... Want to throw you off the roof anyway. Only a little maybe. For fun, not malice. You really would be fine.

I think.

[A long pause and now you have rambling drunk old man]

....I died from stupidity, you know? Pathetic. Pitiful. I was consumed by an enemy that had no business being able to best me, after being defeated by a different foe. I should have run but I didn't have the strength. And do you know? I was so arrogant. Thought I could do it all. Eons of striving and using up my aether like an endless fountain, but never giving it time to refill. Never letting myself rest. Never asking for help. Me! I! I fell to the mortal disease of pride and arrogance. I didn't seek help from my friends. And I believe in them.

[He reaches over to strongly poke whatever part of Vergil he can reach.]

Why do you think I'm vexed at you?

-- Don't call me mortal like that, I'm not - I don't think. I'm probably not. Ask Emet-Selch.

[He instantly feels like he's going to barf the second he sees the ground so far below... Sitting is wise. He sprawls out like there's not a single muscle in his body.

All the better to pout. Especially after being poked back.]

.....I'm just like you, aren't I. I did that exactly.

No. Maybe.

[Huffs. Back to leaning on the bar.]

You aren't mortal? That'd be nice.

Isn't that why you're upset? Or something else??

[He drags himself to his feet after a minute, enough to lean as well.]

You'd think better of me if I wasn't?

I'm upset because you did the thing. Yes. I didn't though. I was just arrogant....

But it had the same result. Maybe it's the same.

I like you regardless. It would be nice if you wouldn't die in a matter of years however. I'd enjoy keeping your company longer.

The thing? You mean yeet into the void? I did that thing. For the same reason. So it's the same.

[He mumbles, still managing to be a bit embarrassed despite the fog.]

If there's something I have to do to stay alive longer then I will. It doesn't really matter here though. And our worlds are different, I won't see you.

That thing, yes.

Hmph. Didn't you offer to come destroy shards for me? Use that sword of yours. Or I'll be forced to summon you and I'm busy back home, you know.

...Is there something you need? For staying alive longer?

...Maybe it could do that. Huh. I would.

[Even then it might put him in a wildly different time period though, who knows how that matches up? But those are thoughts for when he's not reeling.]

I don't know, I think? If demons live on blood and get power from it and can be immortal then I think that's it? But I'm old also. Unless I stop aging suddenly. I don't know. It's confusing.

Do we need bathe you in blood?

[He makes a face. Ew.]

That's how it works.

Yvette said reptiles can drink water through their skin? Or their scales? Like that. I am a - a big lizard. That's probably why that one place's just blood. Because the demon king lives there, so he just sits in it all the time and sucks it up.

Fascinating. Must it be demon blood? Is the aetheric composition important? Or would any blood do?

I think human blood's stronger. But demon's fine too, probably the stronger the demon the better its blood would be. Maybe because it's had more human blood so it's more concentrated?

Oh human blood would be easy.

There's a lot when you're destroying whole worlds. It's just going to waste.

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