firstworldproblem | IC Inbox (Imeeji)

[backdating bc I wanted to do this pre-game but real life ate me :( Anyway, who wants a drunk text from someone coping with the idea of being McDead very healthily.]

Accomplice: sorey aobut thing s

[It is absolutely fine. I also fell over this past week.]

Hades: Hythlodaeus?
Hades: About what things?

[2021 keeps kicking our ass as well. :( ]

Accomplice: thing's........
Accomplice: generely
Accomplice: thatt everythign that happened, did happened
Accomplice: an that yoi two had two, deal with ti
Accomplice: i domt know but i thought abo ut it and it mademe verye very sad
Accomplice: ad
Accomplice: otherh thigns

[Such a mood, right?]

Hades: Where are you?

[OTL When will 2020 stop happening. In 2025, I presume.]

Accomplice: some where?
Accomplice: uhhhhhh h
Accomplice: wewent out with ja son
Accomplice: to break thigns
Accomplice: eheh
Accomplice: he wo udl spell it like
Accomplice: 2 break thins
Accomplice: and you as u!
Accomplice: an d
Accomplice: anwyay
Accomplice: asn neway

Hades: I do hope it was stress relieving.
Hades: If I asked you to meet me somewhere, would you be able?

Accomplice: it was n ice!
Accomplice: uh
Accomplice: i don"t knwo?
Accomplice: dodnot drink an drive

Hades: I had figured.
Hades: Then let me try to come to you.
Hades: Could you send me a photo that shows your location more distinctly?

Accomplice: wai t
Accomplice: locatiom!

[Location ping! It's... somewhere fairly far away from the hotel and any particular landmarks, just a nondescript neighbourhood.]

Hades: I will be there ... shortly.

[He doesn’t have a car. Why would he when Five and Absinthe drive him everywhere. But he does get there eventually.]

[mmmight not be a good idea to ask Five to drive u there,

Anyway! When he finds Levity he's just sitting on the steps of some condo complex, back to the wall, but also surprisingly wearing very... BAD END style of clothes. He gives a small wave with an apologetic smile when Hades approaches.]

...Hey. Sorry 'bout this.

[Levity is still better dressed. Emet threw a coat over silk pajamas and some boots.]

'Tis no problem. Did you have fun?

[He sits next to him.]

... Yeah. Kinda. Jason's good at bein' angry. Better than me. And he's really funny.

[He chuckles, a little awkwardly, then fidgets with a sleeve for a bit. There's a very obvious tension to him.]

But there's some--

[He sighs, defeated.]

'm sorry. I feel like an asshole. But I keep arguing with Five and I don't know what to do about it and I feel bad about it and it makes me feel like I'm not who you remember because surely your best friend would have been able to get along with someone you love.

Truthfully, there is not much wrong with letting out tension this way.

[He tugs him onto his lap even though he is shorter.]

Hythlodaeus.

First, you are not allowed to compare yourself to a hypothetical you when you are bereft of your memories.

Secondly, I don't expect all those whom I love to get along or even like each other. Just because I like them doesn't mean you must.

[He makes a small noise and struggles feebly as he's pulled into Emet's lap (because he's not sure he deserves contact right now), but doesn't resist too much. He does stare at the sidewalk disconsolately, though.]

I just... I don't know what's wrong. We were fine at the start. But now 's all gone weird. And I thought it's... right if I'm open, but he hates it but I don't wanna lie. So.

[What do you mean that's not an explanation]

Edited 2021-04-20 23:22 (UTC)

I do wonder if you are falling into the same issue Cardinal had. One an idealist. One a realist.

Were you worried I would be upset with you?

[He pauses to think on it.]

Mm... Maybe not with me, but just upset. It can't be fun for you, seeing us argue.

[He pulls up his knees to his chest, sry Emet.]

But... What d'you mean? I thought he was friends with Cardinal...

[It's a little more awkward to hold him this way, but he still sort of manages. Kinda. Give him a B for effort.]

Would I prefer if you got along? Yes. Will it break my heart if you do not? No. You are both mature enough to agree to disagree.

They are now. Relationships grow and shift over time. Why, when I didn't care for Yvette when I first met her and not because of her professionalism. But now I couldn't imagine BARiTONES without her.

[He's a very sad puppy :( ]

... Mm. I hope you're right. I want to get along with him, it's just--

[He half-hugs himself.]

He's... So convinced I'll hurt you, I think. And it doesn't matter if I want to or not, it's so big in his mind it blocks out everything else and I think he hates me for it.

[A pause,]

And he thinks I'm just--pretending to be a good person, and in reality I'm just an asshole.

Even if you don't, truthfully I don't care. I would want neither of you to force a friendship on my behalf. I want you to enjoy his company because you like him not because you are expected to like him. And the same goes in reverse.

[He kisses the top of his head, putting an arm around his shoulder.]

You are not a terrible person for not liking Five. Nor are you one if you do not get along with everyone you meet. 'Tis simply not possible. And it is a failing on no one's part.

As for the last part, it isn't that you are unkind. But even the best intentions, when not thought through, lead to ruin and misery. He's worried that your good intentions might cause me problems.

[He grumbles, putting his face in his hands.]

I do not dislike him. I know he's... loyal, dogged and caring. I just also happen to think he can often be insecure, controlling and too prone to preemptively retaliating to any offence, real or perceived, without giving anyone a chance to explain! And that's...

[He grits his teeth, then takes a deep breath.]

A-And I don't understand why it's fine for him to be blunt with me and ignore it when I say I did not ask for his input, but if I do the same it's an insult to him.

I love Five with all of my heart, but he is not perfect. And I would not want him to be. He's arrogant, always wants to get the last word in, and cares about his opinion above all else. To earn even a consideration of one's own, you must first earn his respect. And then even after that some topics are simply riddled with landmines. Even I can't always be so direct about them.

Is it right? Is it fair? We have our answer to this, but I don't think that will solve your problem.

Perhaps the question to be asking is 'Why does he exhibit such behavior?' And in the end what do you really want from Five Hargreeves?

[And unspoken 'And how do you go about obtaining it?' This is just a thousand thousand lifetimes of manipulating people for his own benefit. He absolutely uses it on people he cares about, too.]

[y'all. He stares at Hades for a little while.]

I feel like at this point I should mention Lahabrea tried to do this exact same thing with me.

[He transfers his gaze to the street again, a little moodily.]

What I want is for him to put effort into understanding me. But if for that I must earn his approval by giving up on my beliefs, that is not to be.

What did Lahabrea try to do?

[He sighs.]

I would not ask you to nor would I want you to.

I want you to be happy, Hythlodaeus. You have in your short time here made quite the crowd of friends. Your wit, your humor, your you appreciated. If it does not make you happy, I will not think of you less for it.

[He waves a hand.]

Try to guide me into "realizing" my own answer and the corresponding course of action by means of guiding questions, as though I am a child under his study.

That... is another thing I constantly get from Five. Accusations of not knowing nor remembering things, as though it is my own fault.

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