firstworldproblem | IC Inbox (Imeeji)

I do wonder if you are falling into the same issue Cardinal had. One an idealist. One a realist.

Were you worried I would be upset with you?

[He pauses to think on it.]

Mm... Maybe not with me, but just upset. It can't be fun for you, seeing us argue.

[He pulls up his knees to his chest, sry Emet.]

But... What d'you mean? I thought he was friends with Cardinal...

[It's a little more awkward to hold him this way, but he still sort of manages. Kinda. Give him a B for effort.]

Would I prefer if you got along? Yes. Will it break my heart if you do not? No. You are both mature enough to agree to disagree.

They are now. Relationships grow and shift over time. Why, when I didn't care for Yvette when I first met her and not because of her professionalism. But now I couldn't imagine BARiTONES without her.

[He's a very sad puppy :( ]

... Mm. I hope you're right. I want to get along with him, it's just--

[He half-hugs himself.]

He's... So convinced I'll hurt you, I think. And it doesn't matter if I want to or not, it's so big in his mind it blocks out everything else and I think he hates me for it.

[A pause,]

And he thinks I'm just--pretending to be a good person, and in reality I'm just an asshole.

Even if you don't, truthfully I don't care. I would want neither of you to force a friendship on my behalf. I want you to enjoy his company because you like him not because you are expected to like him. And the same goes in reverse.

[He kisses the top of his head, putting an arm around his shoulder.]

You are not a terrible person for not liking Five. Nor are you one if you do not get along with everyone you meet. 'Tis simply not possible. And it is a failing on no one's part.

As for the last part, it isn't that you are unkind. But even the best intentions, when not thought through, lead to ruin and misery. He's worried that your good intentions might cause me problems.

[He grumbles, putting his face in his hands.]

I do not dislike him. I know he's... loyal, dogged and caring. I just also happen to think he can often be insecure, controlling and too prone to preemptively retaliating to any offence, real or perceived, without giving anyone a chance to explain! And that's...

[He grits his teeth, then takes a deep breath.]

A-And I don't understand why it's fine for him to be blunt with me and ignore it when I say I did not ask for his input, but if I do the same it's an insult to him.

I love Five with all of my heart, but he is not perfect. And I would not want him to be. He's arrogant, always wants to get the last word in, and cares about his opinion above all else. To earn even a consideration of one's own, you must first earn his respect. And then even after that some topics are simply riddled with landmines. Even I can't always be so direct about them.

Is it right? Is it fair? We have our answer to this, but I don't think that will solve your problem.

Perhaps the question to be asking is 'Why does he exhibit such behavior?' And in the end what do you really want from Five Hargreeves?

[And unspoken 'And how do you go about obtaining it?' This is just a thousand thousand lifetimes of manipulating people for his own benefit. He absolutely uses it on people he cares about, too.]

[y'all. He stares at Hades for a little while.]

I feel like at this point I should mention Lahabrea tried to do this exact same thing with me.

[He transfers his gaze to the street again, a little moodily.]

What I want is for him to put effort into understanding me. But if for that I must earn his approval by giving up on my beliefs, that is not to be.

What did Lahabrea try to do?

[He sighs.]

I would not ask you to nor would I want you to.

I want you to be happy, Hythlodaeus. You have in your short time here made quite the crowd of friends. Your wit, your humor, your you appreciated. If it does not make you happy, I will not think of you less for it.

[He waves a hand.]

Try to guide me into "realizing" my own answer and the corresponding course of action by means of guiding questions, as though I am a child under his study.

That... is another thing I constantly get from Five. Accusations of not knowing nor remembering things, as though it is my own fault.

[He stays quiet, thinking over his words.]

I do not know how to help you, my friend. What would you have me do?

[He looks a little startled at that, as though he wasn't expecting to actually be asked.]

...I wonder. I fear that whatever I ask you to do in regards to Five will be merely taken as me trying to control him.

[He shakes his head.]

I want him to understand that I'm not purposefully seeking to hurt him. In truth, I do not even understand what it is that sets him off so, but it sounds as though me trying to understand that is not welcome. And I do not wish to let myself get trampled for his satisfaction.

[He honestly just look a little helpless.]

[manipulate your way out of THIS one]

...It is fine, Hades. If there is nothing to be done, there is nothing to be done. We will simply have to make do the best we can. And I believe we can reduce the worst case scenario to me and Five simply never speaking to one another again.

What we can solve in the moment at least is ensuring you don't have a hangover. I did bring water.

That would be welcome.

[...but also, don't think he doesn't see the hesitation.]

...you say it is fine, but it does bother you, Hades.

[He hands him a water bottle.]

I truly mean it when I say I am fine if you don't care for each other. What I'm worried more about are the misconceptions on both parts. I can see the reasoning, but it is something the two of you either choose to work out or don't.

As I said, I don't know how to approach it that won't alienate further.

[glug glug glug]

I am willing to work it out. My problem is that Five does not give me a chance to say anything before going full offense out of defensiveness. Thus I end up feeling as though I am... supposed to know the right answer from the start.

Then it is probably for the best to leave it be.

Pehaps. I'm quite certain we should be able to avoid trying to fight one another in public if we simply do not speak to each other.

...

...

... There is dislike, but this is borderline unhealthy.

[they're fine]

...Pardon?

Can you truly not spare pleasantries without worrying about a fight?

That was more a turn of phrase than a genuine concern. But I do have my worries what might happen if we do not manage to cut a conversation short before it goes too far. Better to avoid contact with one another altogether, apart from things like games of course.

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