firstworldproblem | IC Inbox (Imeeji)

... it's mostly thanks to you. I wasn't exactly much in tune with my emotions before.

Obviously I knew I don't want to see people I love dying, or already dead. But I admit I would have been reckless enough to push past that in an effort to do what must be done.

[ he's going to move in a bit closer, though he's looking up at the sky ]

It's quite nice.

Never would I be one to say to not have emotions for 'tis an impossible task. They are what motivate us after all --- friends, family, loved ones. But it can be difficult not to succumb to them in the worst of times.

[Runs a hand through Five's hair in a more 'messing it up' teasing type sibling manner.]

It is. Do you have a good view of the sky from that excessive mansion of yours?

[ He's going to give him a glare at that, but since he's not making any actual threats or trying to stop him, he's definitely just being grumpy for the sake of it - he doesn't mind ]

Not that good, no. Though I don't suppose I really took the time to appreciate it much back then, busy as I was trying to prove myself. Once I manage to save the world and my family, well. Perhaps I'll start taking more time to enjoy these things.

As proud and arrogant as you will be of saving the world when you do, I do believe the true benefit of your actions will be being able to live in it. To enjoy it.

[He can't help but laugh.]

Just don't get bored, hmmm?

I'll never let anyone hear the end of it, but you're right. I have a hard time picturing what I'll do after, but, well. I think that's the one thing I could afford to take slowly and figure out as I go.

And if we're being sentimental enough to picture the best case scenario, I suppose I'd have you with me. I wouldn't have the chance to get bored if I wanted to.

I do believe you underestimate the amount of non-productivity I will produce when this is all over. That besides, you will have all of your siblings lives to meddle in.

[He taps his chin.]

Though I will admit, you do seem more content as of recent days. I do believe Taisho's newest is making you feel more at ease.

I do intend on taking it easy as well, after all is said and done. Taking a few nights to enjoy the starry sky, or other views, seems like a good way to start over. I don't imagine you'd oppose those kind of activities.

[ there's a small smile then ]

You're not wrong. It's been easier to feel at ease in Taisho, knowing I'm not a complete outlier. Besides, having others who would play like I do does make it feel like I can actually voice less favored strategies.

He's good company.

You are correct. I would not. Perhaps I will have even improved my coffee making skills by that time.

He seems to suit you and your sensibilities. A good match truly! I'm sure he takes just as much comfort from you, as you him, considering his first days were quite difficult.

[He leans back and looks up.]

It truly hasn't been that long, has it? Since your arrival.

It's been 70 days. A little over two months now. Not that long perhaps, but I like to think that makes me enough of a senior in this place.

'Tis practically no time at all.

You had other questions, did you not? I'm in a good enough mood I might even tell you a fully honest answer.

I was mostly worried about your state of mind. You did say your last death was not exactly something you were bothered by, but still, as I mentioned I figured your newest addition may have made things more difficult to handle.

You're always going out of your way to ensure I'm in good enough health, so. I wanted to return the favor.

And tonight I'll be good enough to avoid asking anything work-related, or scheming too much. Consider it a personal gift to you.

It truly did not. Dying in solitude due to physical ailments I have done more times than I care to count. It is long lost its novelty. A temporary death just like the many others I have orchestrate. It would not last. I suppose it was fortunate in that it forced Lahabrea's hand. I did not enjoy deceiving you, but now it is a matter I do not have to concern myself with.

'Tis what friends do after all. Enjoy in their company. Bask in each other's contentment. I do appreciate it, Five. Sometimes I do wonder how different my path would be here if you were not present.

You'd have probably done something stupid by now, if we hadn't met.

[ he smiles at that, though ]

But I suppose the same is true for myself, so. I'm glad we found each other.

I do believe you are mistaking myself for Wildfire. I do believe you comment on my laziness. Not my incompetence.

If I believed you incompetent I would never have had any interest in you. And despite my scolding you from time to time, you're more a saving energy type than truly lazy. You get things done, at any rate.

But you're just as capable of doing something stupid as anyone else. Don't forget how you initially took my informing you I've decided to accept your friendship.

Though granted, you were having a bad time.

Quite true. A bond that might never mend.

Though how was I to know you were being so devious behind my back for my benefit? To this day, you are the only one that cares about them. My brethren.

Doesn't that make you the strange one.

And once again I don't belong with others. Though somehow I don't exactly mind, this time around.

Don't be so sour. I do believe most of your feelings of non belonging simply lives in your head.

[ a sigh at that ]

You're not wrong. It's difficult to shake, but I understand that much. ... It's easier to deal with, now that I have other people besides Delores.

I wanted to ask, by the way. Have you had the chance to read Vanya's book?

Only in part though I did skip ahead to the parts where you made notations in the margins. Terrible, I know.

Perhaps that is why you are closest to Vanya. She does seem to feel like she is the odd one out as well.

You probably just missed some family drama or other.

I don't believe I felt like that back when I was a child — I was the only one who kept his number as his name and the first to rebel to our father, but I did feel like I was part of them. Vanya was different.

But you're right in guessing she was likely the one I was the closest to, given the contents of the books and what I remembered so far.

I will read every page. I do enjoy gossip and drama.

Vanya was quite different. Truly it must have been difficult for her. Though she did come back so she did hold some connection to all of you. I imagine you accepted her more readily than your founding father did.

You must miss them terribly.

I do. Every day in this place and every memory just makes it worse.

I lived most of my life without them, so I should be used to it. But then again, maybe that's exactly why. I got used to the idea of them being dead and then they were right in front of me again.

And now they're gone once more.

[Putting his arm around Five.]

You will see them again. Of that, I have no doubt. Not that it makes the waiting any harder, any less lonely. They are so dear to you after all.

[ he gives him a small smile at that, and definitely seens to find comfort in the arm around him ]

I have been considering that there's a chance we're all dead, and I haven't remembered yet. But even so, it doesn't matter. I wouldn't let that stop me.

[ a pause, and then he adds ]

You will see them again too. Your loved ones.

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