firstworldproblem | IC Inbox (Imeeji)

Perhaps I do not, but I will anyway. You did say I could be as smug as I wished.

[Leaning further against him and tilting his head back to look at him.]

Let's see where this gamble will take us, hmm.

I suppose I did.

[He wraps his arm around him and kisses Emet's forehead.]

I do intend to. Perhaps the roll of the dice will be kinder than I suppose.

[He closes his eyes.]

I would have not even entertained it, had you not been here. I do hate to waste effort.

[He brushes his fingers through Emet's hair, soothing.]

You are far more sincere than I, in that.

Tell me what you learn from Vergil, would you? I want to know how close both of them have become. I will prod Five further on the matter later.

Tell me what you learn as well.

I hate to admit it but I had no idea either of them had grown close to that Scion.

Neither did I. It is quite troublesome.

I do trust Five implicitly and though I am still cross with Vergil I understand where his heart lies. But the closer they become, the more they might strive to find a solution for all. I do not believe they will betray us or put our goals second, but...

... it could cause hesitation. That is a luxury we might not be able to afford in the most critical of moments.

He just looks down at Emet a moment then out the window, eyes unfocusing some.]

You are more charitable in thought than I.

[He lifts his hand up to caress his jaw.]

Tell me.

[He tilts his head into the touch, eyes closing.]

It is not as if I doubt Five. Nor Vergil.

It just... Troubles me. Why did I not know? Simple inattention? It is not as if they are obligated to tell us who they spend time with, but it unsettles me.

But it hurts all the same that they would get close, even unintentionally, to those who wish for us to lose everything. To know that all we have lost does not move the hearts of our enemies, but a few kind gestures would.

[He laugh without humor.]

We are truly despised after all.

And will the fondness of our enemies grow for our new found friends? Perhaps we will not notice until it is too late.

[He looks down at Emet, then takes his hand, squeezing his fingers.]

Truly, I thought my heart more guarded. But these ugly emotions weigh on me.

[His hold tightens almost painfully, tucking his face into Emet's hair.]

......

[He doesn't say anything about the tight hold and brings their joined hands to their lips and kisses his knuckles.]

It is alright to worry as they do not know how deep our betrayal runs. How each step we take forward is only supported by the thinnest glass laden with cracks.

And I would never have them know such despair.

[He kisses his knuckles again.]

But I am here, as you are for me.

[He does relax his grip after a moment, adjusting to put his chin on top of Emet's head instead.]

Ever have we one another, even should all else fail us.

I may no believe in the pact of our enemies but I am endeavoring to hold faith in our friends. But should that prove false you know I am here for you, always.

I am... Vexed, at being caught off guard by this, I confess. I do not like not knowing.

[He continues to lean on him and hold his hand while being content as a head rest. His other hand unconsciously goes to rest on his middle as he ponders.

How long would they have not known without Thancred bringing up the agreement? He doesn't really like to think about it.]

My trust has been waning of late. For myself. For others. And I do agree. I do not like not knowing. But they both are prideful and to confront them directly may not be the best course of action.

[He strokes Emet's knuckles with his thumb, wrapping his other arm around his chest and leaning back. Settling comfortably with Emet in his arms.]

What would you suggest? I have not settled on how I want to address this.

[He has little choice but to follow against him. Not that he minds.]

'Tis difficult. Both are new at friendships. I would not want to discourage that even if I dislike their choice. They are both stubborn as well. To directly approach it could make them unsure.

And they are our friends, not pawns on the board. They don't have to tell us everything. But if we say nothing, then they hardly know where we feel. And I'd rather be direct than not.

[He sighs and rubs a circle with his thumb over the back of Emet's hand.]

Tell me where your feelings lie. Perhaps it will help decide us both on a course. Because I confess my first instinct is not a reasonable one.

[That is concerning as he tilts his head to look up at him. He realizes he was requested to give his opinion, but...]

Tell me.

.......

Let them enough rope to hang themselves with.

Waiting for them to fail would make you miserable. And they are not perfect. They may falter.

[He sighs squeezing his fingers.]

Long have I chided the shards for not saying what they mean. So a direct approach is more preferable. That them being friends with the Scions does cause us concern for their judgement. And it is not a plea to stop as much as a show of uneasiness. Then let them come to their own conclusions.

That is why I would follow your judgement. I am too bitter for offering the benefit of the doubt.

[He returns the squeeze.]

But tell me of your own feelings. Not just how you wish to approach this.

It's a bit terrifying, is it not? And I do hope Vergil and the Scios have simply bonded through fighting and they emotions do not run deeper than that.

But I have my doubts.

Vergil has been known to make rash decisions and you've seen Five when he's conflicted with emotions about his siblings. He is not rash, but he hesitates where he should not. As much as he would say he would not, I know his mind too well. Should conflict arise, he will first look for an optimal solution where both parties interests are met. This farce of a truce is a prime example. Had he not cared for Thancred or trusted him, he would not have even brought it to us with the expectations of us honoring it.

To state it in your words, there will always be rope now.

[He sighs, leaning down to kiss Emet's forehead.]

Then let me be the one to carry the suspicions. You should not have this in the back of your mind when you spend time with Five. No matter how directly you confront him, I do not know if it will satisfy you, any reassurance.

But your joy with him is... deeply important. To color it with bracing for disappointment would be a shame.

Easier said than done considering Azem, how our people summoned Hydaelyn. My own actions. I do tend to stumble on the same pitfalls again and again.

[He squeezes his hand again and turns so he is laying more properly on him.]

But a problem for another day.

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