... [ instinctively brings a hand to emet's to make him stop, but it's merely a reflex, so he eventually lets go and lets it drop - giving a sigh. ] It'll be alright eventually. As for right now, I'm not so sure. It's fragile, and just about anything could send it back into pieces, which is why I'm trying to curate my visits carefully.
...no, but I'm trying not to go out much. At least until it's a bit more stable. I don't want it to break again and who knows what's going to trip it. [ he gives a long winded sigh. ] I'm just... tired, and I missed you, so why not kill two birds with one stone, ..? [ loops his arms around his neck and gives his cheek a nuzzle. ] Since you dressed for the cold let's go to the snowy mountain.
Don't apologize. I am just feeling a little extra needy right now. Don't take my complaints to heart. [ cups his cheek and tries to take another kiss. ]
No. I'll just snuggle up close to you if I get cold.
...hah. I don't want everybody to worry. I'm sure there are other things you have on your mind. [ just going to tap his chest with his point finger a few times and then start drawing random patterns on him. nothing in particular, he's just letting his mind wander. ] ...mm, the fights are always good. I'm just not really equipped to deal with everything after. Articulating feelings has never really been a strong suit of mine. I've only just gotten a chance to get better at it. Have a real chance to.
We fought because she was having a tough time, and fighting just... helps us both. But the talking afterwards. [ he just sighs. ] Maybe it's because my head wasn't really screwed on straight or... maybe I'm just still not great at giving good advise.
...ah, [ shuts his eyes and gives another sigh, tap tap taping as he hesitates. he could just tell him, but then he'd feel like he's going behind her back. ] I can't say. I'm... sorry. I hope you understand, but she tells me certain things in confidence, and her trust is not something I'm looking to break.
[ at the moment he does regret that he can't change into a fox and continue to talk, because he'd love to do that right now. ] ...but I guess if you're okay with me complaining then... do you ever get to thinking a little too hard, about things you feel as though you shouldn't, ...
... [ going to move out of emet's arms to wade in the snow for himself. ] Scaramouche is from some kind of an alternate timeline. Zhongli is... I don't even know. [ he's never talked about it and, honestly, childe is kind of afraid to ask... to have his fears confirmed. ] People come and go all the time. Sometimes they come back, sure, but... sometimes they don't. And graduations happen at random, ...what if... we don't have a chance to leave together, then how the hell am I going to find them?
What if all of this hell corruption is only making things... worse. I may not have access to my delusion of my true Foul Legacy, but I'm being poisoned in other ways. If I leave first, then I'm just going to die... [ alone. ]
You will never be alone even if we are not physically there with you. Such impression, true impression, cannot be erased even with time and distance.
As for 'how are you going to find them'. Well, I believe I have a solution for that. Yvette made me think of it. I am audition, thus I do not believe I can take Heaven's route. I can, however, have a wish. And that wish is to allow those whom I have met here to travel to each other's stars no matter how distant they are.
... [ he lets emet takes his hand as his gaze burns a hole through the snow and into the ground. ]
Does that mean you intend to stay in hell, ..? Or are you going to see if making that wish includes you too? I doubt sensei is going to want to leave you here when he graduates, unless he plans to make a similar wish. Although knowing what he knows now about the end of the world and the commission... [ he's unsure what five plans to specifically do. all childe knows is that if he asks him to help him kill anybody he'll do it. he may not have made a promise, but he absolutely would. ]
I will not be bound by Hell, but I cannot suffer Heaven either. I will go home one way or another.
I do not know Five's wish and it is hard to plan considering his memories are not complete. But his wish shall be different. Mine will help solve the problem of traveling between stars. My plan is to go home with him first, to unlock the secrets of time. We have surmised those magic time travel boxes are actually his invention.
But we speak of your problems, not mine. The ability to travel between the stars should hopefully ease your worries of loneliness.
I don't doubt that you and your resourcefulness will eventually get you back home.
You haven't asked him? ...though, perhaps he doesn't even know yet, because, like you said, without the entirety of the picture, how could you know what you truly need or want. [ he sighs. he hasn't even given his own decision any thought. maybe he should... ask zhongli sometime. and scaramouche too. see what the both of them plan to do. ] I wouldn't doubt it. Sensei's a genius, and being capable of time travel I don't doubt that he wouldn't find a way to harness that ability to his advantage. Do you... mind if I tell Zhongli and Scaramouche of your wish? It's fine if you'd rather I keep it to myself, but... maybe one of these days I'll ask about their plans. I know Scaramouche plans to travel, but I don't know what he intends to do with his own wish, ... [ if he goes that route. ]
I hope it also extends to different versions of the same star...
I've asked. Thought is shifts over time. My own does as well. Elidibus being here has changed things for one.
Of course you can tell them. To me, it is no secret. I wish to return home, but in order to complete my duty I must have master of time and space. For this reason both the abilities of Five and Vergil are essential.
And I am also an immortal, thus I did promise Five a life with his family. Compared to a thousand thousand lifetimes, what is waiting one more?
[He taps his chin.]
I do believe I heard from Scaramouche, Pentium, and Yvette that they had hoped to visit my star. Though I will be honest, I do not know how time flows between them. Even across the broken shards time is relative and difficult to pinpoint.
[ blinks. ] Elidibus is... back? [ and he didn't even come to say hi, ...rude! ]
I know Scaramouche planned on traveling across the stars, he's even told me he plans to stay with you for a bit. I just don't know what I'm going to do or what Zhongli's going to do... [ especially if we're not even from the same version of teyvat. his stomach knots at that, again, but he digresses and sighs. ]
Of course this was going to complicated. Nothing is simple... but no matter when, as soon as I return home, I swore to help the Tsaritsa, and as one of her Harbingers I'll see her vision, our vision, to the end. As soon as that has been realized, then... perhaps I can find happiness with Zhongli Xiansheng.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: day 498.
Re: day 498.
Re: day 498.
Re: day 498.
[He kisses his forehead and picks him up again.]
To the snow! Do you need to change your attire beforehand?
Re: day 498.
No. I'll just snuggle up close to you if I get cold.
Re: day 498.
I rather you did complain so that I know. Sometimes it is dreadfully hard to tell. Was the battle at least fun?
Re: day 498.
We fought because she was having a tough time, and fighting just... helps us both. But the talking afterwards. [ he just sighs. ] Maybe it's because my head wasn't really screwed on straight or... maybe I'm just still not great at giving good advise.
Re: day 498.
And, what if I may ask, is she having a tough time about? You have a good ear so it must be something complicated.
Re: day 498.
[ at the moment he does regret that he can't change into a fox and continue to talk, because he'd love to do that right now. ] ...but I guess if you're okay with me complaining then... do you ever get to thinking a little too hard, about things you feel as though you shouldn't, ...
Re: day 498.
All the time. I have wallowed in my own mind for a long, long time. But tell me what is on your mind, my Tempest.
Re: day 498.
What if all of this hell corruption is only making things... worse. I may not have access to my delusion of my true Foul Legacy, but I'm being poisoned in other ways. If I leave first, then I'm just going to die... [ alone. ]
Re: day 498.
You will never be alone even if we are not physically there with you. Such impression, true impression, cannot be erased even with time and distance.
As for 'how are you going to find them'. Well, I believe I have a solution for that. Yvette made me think of it. I am audition, thus I do not believe I can take Heaven's route. I can, however, have a wish. And that wish is to allow those whom I have met here to travel to each other's stars no matter how distant they are.
Re: day 498.
Does that mean you intend to stay in hell, ..? Or are you going to see if making that wish includes you too? I doubt sensei is going to want to leave you here when he graduates, unless he plans to make a similar wish. Although knowing what he knows now about the end of the world and the commission... [ he's unsure what five plans to specifically do. all childe knows is that if he asks him to help him kill anybody he'll do it. he may not have made a promise, but he absolutely would. ]
Re: day 498.
I will not be bound by Hell, but I cannot suffer Heaven either. I will go home one way or another.
I do not know Five's wish and it is hard to plan considering his memories are not complete. But his wish shall be different. Mine will help solve the problem of traveling between stars. My plan is to go home with him first, to unlock the secrets of time. We have surmised those magic time travel boxes are actually his invention.
But we speak of your problems, not mine. The ability to travel between the stars should hopefully ease your worries of loneliness.
Re: day 498.
You haven't asked him? ...though, perhaps he doesn't even know yet, because, like you said, without the entirety of the picture, how could you know what you truly need or want. [ he sighs. he hasn't even given his own decision any thought. maybe he should... ask zhongli sometime. and scaramouche too. see what the both of them plan to do. ] I wouldn't doubt it. Sensei's a genius, and being capable of time travel I don't doubt that he wouldn't find a way to harness that ability to his advantage. Do you... mind if I tell Zhongli and Scaramouche of your wish? It's fine if you'd rather I keep it to myself, but... maybe one of these days I'll ask about their plans. I know Scaramouche plans to travel, but I don't know what he intends to do with his own wish, ... [ if he goes that route. ]
I hope it also extends to different versions of the same star...
Re: day 498.
Of course you can tell them. To me, it is no secret. I wish to return home, but in order to complete my duty I must have master of time and space. For this reason both the abilities of Five and Vergil are essential.
And I am also an immortal, thus I did promise Five a life with his family. Compared to a thousand thousand lifetimes, what is waiting one more?
[He taps his chin.]
I do believe I heard from Scaramouche, Pentium, and Yvette that they had hoped to visit my star. Though I will be honest, I do not know how time flows between them. Even across the broken shards time is relative and difficult to pinpoint.
Re: day 498.
I know Scaramouche planned on traveling across the stars, he's even told me he plans to stay with you for a bit. I just don't know what I'm going to do or what Zhongli's going to do... [ especially if we're not even from the same version of teyvat. his stomach knots at that, again, but he digresses and sighs. ]
Of course this was going to complicated. Nothing is simple... but no matter when, as soon as I return home, I swore to help the Tsaritsa, and as one of her Harbingers I'll see her vision, our vision, to the end. As soon as that has been realized, then... perhaps I can find happiness with Zhongli Xiansheng.