firstworldproblem | IC Inbox - Snakes on Serpentine Horizon

You can call on me to escort you any time you want to go somewhere or just get out of the house. And, well, if more food is helpful, then that's easy. I hope you like meat, I do have a weapon now, and shooting is the closest thing I have to a hobby, so it might as well be put to use.

Any food will help. After games we don't have the energy usually to really take care of ourselves outside of trying to hit objectives. Or at least, I don't.

Oh? Were you a mark-smith before or is this a new hobby?

Snail really needs to try harder to win.

Hmm, yes and no? The family I was born to is the type to hand a little girl a gun and tell her to kill someone, you know? So I've always been good at it. While my husband likes going shooting for fun, so I go with him, but it's really his hobby. With the monsters around though, there's quite a bit more excitement. I don't really see the point in something without effort or stakes, but now there are some.

Please. It is not for lack of trying. I turned someone into a demon and it was still not good enough.

Ah, so you are a bit of a thrill seeker. I do believe that is part of your core personality. Or do you think it is the persona you wear?

She seemed to be enjoying herself.

A thrill-seeker, hm...? My main uses are to work out difficult problems and violence, so it's difficult to tell whether I really enjoy aspects of things like that or am just playing to my strengths. ...But I suppose I can't force adrenaline, so then it must be real.

[He just laughs.]

She did. That doesn't mean it wasn't cruel or unnatural. And hard to imagine that simply removing limbs would have served me better.

Let me ask you this. What is your ideal life?

Freedom, I guess? But all that I really want to do with it is watch Rudolf-san mess around with problems until he figures out a solution or asks for my help. It's a bit of a contradiction, so that's probably a large part of the issue.

All things considered, I consider it to be a rather charming goal. Simply being around those whom you care for even if it can be selfish and selfless at the same time.

Oh, I'm very selfish about getting it. You're probably the only one who could call it charming. I appreciate that, though.

People are bound to make assumptions should they know not the whole story. Even I am making the as we speak.

But I won't judge you about it. Much.

Are you sure? I think there's an awful lot to judge. You did say that you have to pretend to care about your team more than you do, that's not equivalent to being judgmental, but... I do believe there was also something about thinking badly of everyone.

For better or for worse, I have to keep in their good graces. There might be a time when I do desire to have them make a certain decisions. And above that, I do need a place to go or else my taboos will wither my soul alive as much as I wish I did not.

[He taps his chin.]

Habits are hard to break. The advice I gave you is advice I should take as well.

Considering that taboo, being solitary especially, I assume.

MmmHmm.

I don't fit in with them. My team. 'Tis obvious. Perhaps it is age. Perhaps it is because I care little for their crisis of morality and finding worth.

But antagonizing them wins me no favors.

[cool, time to app kira back so Emet has to deal with the absolute worst level of that!]

Ah. That would be frustrating. There's no point in worrying about morality, either you're going to do something or not, and if you do, then you had better be prepared to own it too. My team is doing the opposite right now, they don't think they've done anything wrong, even though it sounds like they're just as guilty as the one they're fighting with. But it's just the same, I'm keeping my mouth shut.

You seem like someone who can get away with being just a bit rude, though. That they might chalk it up to a charm point.

[Interacting with people is hard!]

Oh, I've asked. They expect it of me, the sass. But charming? Not so much.

The dangerous ones listen, you know. Really listen. And in turn, those are the most interesting.

Really? I had no idea.

[He pats her shoulder.]

Then I hope you at least have one or two on your team that fit that criteria.

Mm, there is one, he's certainly the most mature despite being one of the youngest. He disappeared just after I arrived and has only just returned, so I'm looking forward to watching him work.

Might I know his name?

It's Kaz. I don't think he's very social, but you might still catch him.

Oh, I do believe I have heard of the name. But as you can imagine, I don't really seek out the company of others. I was actually surprised you called at all.

I can certainly imagine, yes. Neither do I, but... I was interested enough that I've meant to speak to you if I saw you at a good time. But I suppose it took needing to get out.

Now I am rather curious who else you have found interesting. Or if I'm just lucky.

It's pretty rare. Kaz is, and there was someone on Robin's Egg I liked. I thought he was just an idiot at first so it was fun to tease him, but he turned out to be really sweet. Although that's a bit different than interesting.

Re: Day 53

firstworldproblem - 2023-01-01 02:55 (UTC) - Expand