IC Inbox 2 (Imeeji)

[firstworldproblem]

Comments

[failedsafe]

Can't say I'm terribly fond of Hell in the first place. [She smiles wryly before looking much more sombre.]

If I gave that up...and if I couldn't help under my own power...

[hnnngh]

[firstworldproblem]

Honestly the Producers of this place are simply a collection of individuals too powerful for their won good.

[He pauses.]

Does it truly matter how it is accomplished?

[failedsafe]

I didn't realise demons could be so powerful.

It does matter. I don't expect any understanding.

[It's not defensive or dismissive, just stated as a fact.]

[firstworldproblem]

I would like to if it isn't too painful.

[failedsafe]

[She waits a while. It isn't obvious if she's thinking or not.]

...There's only ever been one person that has needed or wanted me. One who didn't ignore or think the worst of me. I wasn't a person. I was a tool or I was trash. Disregarded. Disrespected.

Disposable.

I have similar design specifications to my brother, but they don't matter. I wasn't wanted, I wasn't even supposed to exist, just a thing with no purpose.

I want to help my brother because he's my brother it's as easy as that, but if I can do anything that matters then...I'll know I'm more than everything they thought, even if I have to die to do it. If I can't do that with my own hands there isn't any point. If I can't do it without giving up something so fundamental then I am no better than what they thought in the first place. I might not be a person but if I have a soul then...

[maybe she can pretend sometimes.]

[firstworldproblem]

You desire to safeguard your soul, an admirable goal. Then cherish it even though the path before you will be more difficult for it.

It sounds like the only person worthy of proof of anything is your brother. Ignore the rest. The two of you should decide what you want and build your plan from there.

1/2

[failedsafe]

--That's not!--

[She sounds frustrated, balling her hands into fists and nearly snapping before she slows down. Inhales.]

2/2

[failedsafe]

My brother is very important to me, yeah, no doubt about it, but then I came here and now a lot of people are. Somehow.

[yes, this is baffling to the person who loves people at the drop of the hat, but perhaps that is not and was never the issue.]

Really, that's the problem. If I go back to Lysidian and become successful, and somehow win the right to my own life on top of that from The Professor, there's...not likely to be much life to live after that anyway. I shouldn't do that to him.

[firstworldproblem]

I meant from those back home. He is the one you always speak so highly of.

No answer will be without complications, but I would consider writing down your ideal. Is it going back home, proving your worth, and having everyone you dear live with you? Is it having everyone you hold dear going someplace else and ignoring the plight of your home star.

And then rank them with someone or someones you trust. Try to truly determine what you can live with or without.

[failedsafe]

Oh. Sorry, then. [She does look contrite.]

Yeah. That was my childhood, as far as I know. I am obviously not one anymore, so who can say what happened in the interim?

I can't ignore Lysidian. That isn't an option. It's been suffering for a very long time. My ideal is everyone being happy, even if I'm not there. But...I'll do that. I'll write it out.

[firstworldproblem]

It isn't easy. Do not think I'm trying to say it is so. I'm sure you'll fill quite a few pages with what you desire and all the possible outcomes.

If you must lose your life in pursuit of your goal, it is regrettable, but I would rather you lived to see it flourish.

But endless opportunity and heartache both lie before you. And I pray you can find a path that not only you are comfortable with, but you are also comfortable sharing with those whom you love.

[failedsafe]

...I don't know about that. Didn't really think beyond "help save the world".

[Was there supposed to be an after?

She doesn't think about that and instead continues to listen to him.]

You're pretty great, you know.

[firstworldproblem]

Then enjoy your homework. I expect an essay within a tenday.

[He shakes his head.]

Kind, but my path is much easier. I have nothing to lose, so there is only opportunity abound.

[failedsafe]

I thought Cosmo was the scholar, but fiiine, teach, you got it.

Mm, well I also mean you don't have to be here with me right now, so I appreciate it. You say you were not a great parent, maybe that's true. I don't know the whole of your life and what you've done. [She waits a moment before kissing his cheek gently]

But you've been to me, so thank you...Father.

[firstworldproblem]

I was also an expert in my field of study though no one has as much breadth as our dear Speaker.

[Luckily she is really tall so he doesn't have to lean down too much. Not that he isn't always slouching. Though he can't help but give a snort.]

I have no desire for children. And if you thought what your father did was unbecoming, I'm quite certain I've committed worse. I can be rather tenacious if the mood strikes.

[But then he pets her head in return.]

But I will accept wayward friends.

[failedsafe]

What was that field exactly? If you don't mind my asking. There just seems like...so much to it all.

[oh yay headpats she blushes a little.]

Worse like what?

[firstworldproblem]

Souls.

[He taps his chin in thought.]

Pit them against each other from a throne that would not survive their generation. Make them go mad. Use them as a pawn in my schemes.

And as much as I adore everyone on BARiTONES, you all are pieces on the board to be moved. Your goals and mine simply align currently.

[failedsafe]

[However she might feel about any of that she keeps masterfully off her features.

But for the rest.]

We'll see about that.

[firstworldproblem]

I do not foresee our goals being in conflict, so I don't expect it to be a concern.

Besides, if you do decide to be with Levity, I have no doubts that you will take care of him in your own way. Whatever path you choose.

[failedsafe]

Instead of trying to manoeuvre pieces on the proverbial board have you tried asking for help? Or is that just not an option?

[but she stares ahead at the mention of Levity.]

...I managed to tell him, you know. And someone else too. [She frowns mildly.]

[firstworldproblem]

I have before. Why do you imagine I am so tired?

[He pauses.]

Tell him what?

[failedsafe]

I imagine that it is a very long list of reasons that owes to your exhaustion.

[She pauses.]

That I love him.

[firstworldproblem]

Did you now?

[He kisses the top of her head.]

It is hard at times, isn't it? When you are not used to it. When the words seem to be weightless yet so heavy at the same time.

I am glad you are taking the opportunity to say it now before it is too late.

[failedsafe]

It was...really hard to do, but really worth it.

[She looks tremendously happy and serene at the same time. It's an odd juxtaposition, not unlike how it's possible for the words to be weightless and heavy at the same time.

But Emet's words have a sombre air around them and she's brought back down to earth.]

Mm. I can't say that it's something everyone wants to hear but it's something I want to be able to say to some more people.

[She looks at him.]

So, I love you.

[firstworldproblem]

Are you sure? I still have ample time to prove I'm shady.

[He jests as he takes her hands and then kisses the top of her head.]

I love you as well, Lily. And wish you nothing by confidence and contentment as you puzzle through the choices before you.