IC Inbox 2 (Imeeji)

[firstworldproblem]

Comments

Re: Day 385

[firstworldproblem]

Emet-Selch: My door is always open.

[failedsafe]

Lily Pads: Wow, what makes you think this is a "door's always open" kind of chat!
Lily Pads: I could just be saying 'hi' apropos of nothing.

[firstworldproblem]

Emet-Selch: If that were the case I imagine you would have simply yelled it.
Emet-Selch: Though perhaps you are not in the dorms.

[failedsafe]

Lily Pads: Nah, I'm here.
Lily Pads: It's funny to me that it can be hard to tell considering we have so many rooms
Lily Pads: But hang on, let me leave the planetarium.

[firstworldproblem]

Emet-Selch: I could join you if you would like instead.

[failedsafe]

Lily Pads: Mmm okay.

[firstworldproblem]

[He won't reply, but show up there shortly dressed down in just a shirt and slacks. He walks up next to her.]

Is gazing at the stars also 'apropos of nothing'?

[failedsafe]

Of course.

[firstworldproblem]

[He smiles and nods and simply sits on a couch to observe the stars around him.]

[failedsafe]

[she's going to watch them with him.]

How are you?

[firstworldproblem]

Better than I have been in a while. Hell is quite the relaxing vacation. Though it has its ups and downs.

Did you need time to think?

[failedsafe]

I'm glad.

No. I don't know what to think.

[firstworldproblem]

[He motions for her to sit.]

What's on your mind, Lily?

[failedsafe]

[She rubs the back of her head before plopping down unceremoniously, raising a knee to her chest and wrapping her around it.]

Vivi proposed to me.

[firstworldproblem]

[He puts an arm around her shoulders.]

It would seem you have some reservations or doubts.

[failedsafe]

I...do no think I have a future, one way or another. Not in that sense.

[firstworldproblem]

In the end, isn't that for you to decide?

[failedsafe]

[She ponders that. That seems so in line with her usual thinking. It's been hard, but she has tried to defy the negative and harmful expectations even as she internalises them. Either she would not rise to any sort of occasion, was not worth any consideration, or she would actively ruin things for those that mattered--for the brother that mattered. She wants to be more than an ill omen or an obstacle. She wants to be more than nothing at all.]

...I don't think I'm going to live very long, in any case.

[firstworldproblem]

Your dream. Your wish. That what you strive for.

It sounds like you've resolved yourself, but you are not yet content with the outcome.

[failedsafe]

If the outcome that I seek happens, that is all that matters.

[isn't it?]

One way or another or another, I do not see myself living past it.

[firstworldproblem]

A rather wise yet arrogant person once told me to 'broaden my horizons'.

What would it take to get both?

[failedsafe]

I wonder who...?

It would take convincing my dear darling creator and ren not to terminate me after I've fulfilled my purpose, but even so...I don't think I have a very long lifespan, so it's a moot point. That is assuming I manage to survive doing what I need to do in the first place. Could always die by the end or die in the attempt.

[She shrugs, she doesn't look particularly bothered by it, and turns her gaze upwards once more.]

[firstworldproblem]

You are still thinking too small.

Rewrite the laws of reality. Who is to say your wish cannot accomplish this?

[failedsafe]

The wish is a very, very last resort. Having a soul...

[firstworldproblem]

I see.

You'd rather have a soul intact than trading it here. A valid concern.