firstworldproblem | IC Inbox 2 (Imeeji)

I tend to take mortal mortality with a fair dose of humor. Perhaps Lily or Cardinal would be a better person to ask about it.

The reality is we will all eventually die in games. From other causes. From each other. Blaming yourself will only cause you pain and suffering.

[He nods, very slowly.]

I don't... want to kill you. Any of you...

[An exhale, slow, careful.]

Alone, one on one... I could try... I wouldn't succeed, but I have to try, so that it's fair...

[He falls silent once again, trying to sort through his feelings, then turns to give Emet a mournful look.]

... No. It's not that. I just... can't handle thinking of you as an enemy. As a threat.

I take that back. Don’t talk to Lily. You are as dramatic as she is.

In this, I will not coddle you. To do so would be a disservice to you and the other units.

In games none of you are my enemy. We must vie for the same resources and not everyone will make it through. Goodness. I think every time I ran into Shrike she bested me, and I do not hold it against her in the slightest. We even threw dynamite at each other the first time we met. Her aim was better.

Luckily most will be button presses or filled in forms. The up close and personal are few and far in between.

[Lily and Levity are either very good for each other or (checks hand) imagine worst case scenarios and work themselves up into self-sacrifice for the sake of one another. Or others. It's a white hair thing.

That seems to reassure him a little, though! He's still looking worried, but finds it in himself to joke.]

A member of Baritones, chiding someone else for being dramatic?

[Alright, back to focusing on breathing. In, out.]

...I talked about it with Absinthe before. Whether it's... fine for me to sacrifice someone or kill them by such second-hand means in a game when I could not do it face to face.

[Do we have like grass or sand or something on the floor so he can trace patterns in it?]

We agreed that if we met in such a game that pitted us against one another directly... We would both do our best to win. Even though I know I would lose... but I felt that I would owe it to him to try. I tried to treat it as a thought exercise... even made some designs that would--designs for weapons...

[Judging by the way he trails off, though, he's not very happy about that. In fact, he's starting to look more distant again, like he's dissociating.]

[If he wishes it, there is grass or whatever he desires. But by default, no.]

If it is a one on one battle, sometime the best option is simply die. The complicated part is your unitmates, correct? By yourself you need not worry about them.

And don't think I'm doing this for the good of others or because I want to self sacrifice, sometimes it is just easier. And I said, death is not permanent.

[He snaps his fingers in front of his face to hopefully grab his focus back to the present.]

In most games you cannot use your abilities so why bother making weapons?

[He does go back to standing finally.]

Shall we pick a less depressing topic? Now you know the fate of the star and our great work. Our secrets laid bare. I'm willing to answer any clarifying questions.

[ha... ha... less depressing topic]

[Okay, if he has control of the dream, let's make it a seashore! Just before dawn, so there's gentle twilight, with the sun yet to rise but not the darkness of the night.

He does startle at the snap, then shakes his head and nods.]

Ah... thank you. I, um... I was lost in thought.

[He remains sitting, though, looking up at Emet, expression a little more serious now.]

There are things I don't quite understand. Those that created Hydaelyn... did they know what was going to happen? That our star would be shattered? That's... neither binding nor shackling. It doesn't make sense to me.

[He does turn his gaze to the dawn for a moment before offering him his hand to stand.]

I do not know. In my dearest of hearts, I want to say no. Wishes of Primals are not one to be taken lightly. Again and again we've seen good intention gone awry.

But I cannot say for certain. Yet regardless of their intentions they did shatter the star and all life upon it. Their hubris cost us everything we loved and held dear.

[He takes the hand to stand up, but doesn't let go once he's on his feet, instead tugging on Emet's hand gently as he begins a slow stroll.

But... Wishes of Primals are not to be taken lightly, huh. Filing this under "Not Vibing With Zodiark". But that's for internal use only.]

I... want to hope that they were misled somehow, too. It's just... altogether too extreme a measure. And something bothers me about the way events unfolded, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

[He squeezes his fingers and keeps the hold, following.]

Perhaps you will remember more as your memory unfolds. I will admit the events leading up to that day are less clear than the actual event. Not that I'm eager for you to remember it.

I will not ask for your stance now. You should consider it and consider it carefully as we did. We did not come upon our modus operandi lightly. And truthfully, I simply wish you would use your wish to find that timeline where our star was saved and our people were undivided. Or give us time to fix it all.

[He blinks at that, surprised - so used he was to Emet and Lahabrea being the ones aiming to save their world, and himself just tagging along, that the request comes almost as a shock.

But... it's not an unwelcome thought. He smiles softly, squeezing Emet's fingers back.]

...I would. If I can... I will. But why not use your wish for it?

Someone has to help me with Absinthe's soul. I'm not going to be able to untangle it myself.

There are a few factors. Just wishing the Sundering did not happen would not provide us with what we seek. What if we simply were divided again? What if we could go back and stop the Final Days itself? We still yet know the cause so we need time to study it. And for that we would need to master time travel. Not to mention we will need to deal with the Scions in whatever timeline we dig our heals in.

Lahabrea also wishes to find Elidibus.

[He nods along to that - it makes sense, and it's exactly the kind of considerations he would have come up with, too.]

I wonder if it is possible to use a wish to find out what happened?.. If between us we have three, we could make good use of that... Although I'll admit to some reservations regarding the price we would need to pay. Remaining Hell's servants... There must be an unpleasant catch there, too.

[That last part, though, catches his attention.]

Elidibus?.. That young man from our memories?

[HHhhhhheeeeee doesn't know about the whole "that's Zodiark" thing.]

Edited 2021-06-29 06:35 (UTC)

I would not feel comfortable returning until we can master both space and time.

[He nods.]

The third of us that survived the Sundering. It would feel... incomplete with out him. Lahabrea was closer to him than I, and he does feel responsible for him. Not that I have any desire to leave him in Hell if he is here.

But what of your plans?

...I would like to bring him with us, too, then. I want everyone to go back together.

[Oh no the question though. He looks absolutely lost.]

To tell you the truth, I've no idea yet. There is so much to consider, between my relationships and the fate of our star...

[He thinks for a time, then nods slowly.]

But no matter what... I want to save our home first and foremost. My desires for myself come after that.

Then I would recommend you talk to two people.

Gaia on Taisho.

.. Oh, what was his name on Wild City ---- The one with bear physique.

They can provide an alternative view. I am doing my best to not hide things from you, but I am prone to my ways. And they can give you accounts I was not privy to. I was quite busy these last eons after all.

Bear physique... Metaphorically or literally? Because that would fit Luther.

Smaller. Hair more brown.

Please, I would remember Luther's name.

[He smiles. This feels... better, warmer, being able to joke around, closer to the kind of relationship he wants to have between the two of them.]

Perhaps your old age is finally catching up to you?

[He tsks.]

You have no idea if you are older than I am. What does that say about you?

I have retained my youthful looks and demeanor!

That hardly excuses being senile.

[He stops once they reach the edge of the water.]

Lahabrea is better suited for keeping us motivated, and I know the Production can seem overwhelming at times. But in the end, we'll make it through.

[He stops, too, looking out at the ocean before them. There's a sense of... peace, serenity, here.]

Hearing that from you, a fabled pessimist... I do come to believe it.

[His tone is only half-joking, but his expression grows a little more serious again as he turns to look at Emet.]

Hades... can you grant us the Sight here? I would look upon you.

I have to believe it. I would not move forward if I thought it all for naught.

[He laughs low under his breath and Levity is gifted with the Sight. Hades color is two-toned.]

Finally, someone else who understands. Remind me to have you borrow the contacts that Lily did gift me.

[Because that is hygienic.]

What contacts?

[He studies Emet's soul curiously, noting the differences and similarities between how he is now and the colour, structure of his soul in Levity's memories... Gently, he reaches out to trace his fingers along some of the patterns he can see. There's a thought he's almost having...]

Glass lenses that sit on your eyes directly.

[He holds out an arm for him to do whatever tracing he likes.]

What do you see?

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