firstworldproblem | IC Inbox 2 (Imeeji)

[ There's a small, fond smile when he smears the chocolate on his face, though of course he blushes when he licks it off ]

Imagine how much more effective my declarations of love would be if the cake was in any decent state. It does ruin the moment somewhat.

But I will always be here to help you. And you can rest assured that I will always share with you any worry I may have. Even when they have the potential of triggering jealousy.

So. You won't be blindsided by anything. In case that was a worry.

I find it charming as it is.

[He rests his head against him.]

In that I do trust you implicitly to tell me. Sometimes in words. Sometimes in actions. But I ever have faith that you will.

Was this worry why you were up last night?

... Yes. Well. Part of it at least. I still don't know what to do about all this, and the rest of my worries were over whether I'd end up losing control or not.

I keep picturing the worst case scenarios ... and among those is trying to hurt you. But I do have to face this sooner or later ...

Are you worried about Caeli and the arrangement you made with him? That is might not help.

[He puts the plate to the side so he can wrap his arms more fully around him.]

I know you will blame yourself if that happens, but I will not. You try with all your heart.

Is there naught I can do to help?

[ he nods, and then just rests his head against him ]

I sent you that message because I wanted to talk, but also because being with you just soothes all my worries. I guess this was my scheme to get you to help me sleep.

I would offer to you assistance in relieving your violence, but I imagine attacking me would make it worse. But if you find it does help, I can hold my own.

[He picks him up and carries him to the bed placing him on the edge. He will help him dress into night clothes if he isn’t already.]

I’ll clean up the kitchen after you’ve rested.

[ He was definitely still in day clothes so he'll have to help him in night ones. He lets him as usual, because he likes being pampered by him ]

I'm not sleeping yet. I want you to read to me. Just to keep hearing the sound of your voice.

[ a pause, then he adds ]

Maybe if after this I feel like I have a good handle on it. It isn't as if I think Caeli is expendable and if I end up trying to kill him it won't be an issue, but — the emotional impact will be different.

[He actually orders two books. One is poetry. The other is a thick tome of fiction.]

You said you experiment with him as well, correct? That might make it easier. And I do not doubt that it will affect you. You do not enjoy harming others even if this urge inside you makes it exciting in the moment. And even if you did, it would not matter.

[He kisses his head and kicks off his shoes before joining him in bed.]

You would accept me no matter what. It does help, knowing that. I worry about losing control but I haven't worried about you rejecting me for it for a while now. I suppose it finally stuck.

Now isn't that delightful to hear.

[He kisses his forehead and wraps one arm around him as he opens the book with his other hand.]

Do tell me how the experimentation turns out if there is aught of note. I could ask about the other experiments you are trying, but I imagine you would go quite red. And while that in of itself is charming, I'll spare you this early morning.

[ Well apparently just saying that is enough to get him red, so good job Emet. But he does clear his throat trying to hide that ]

Right. Speaking of that I may have accidentally told him about some details of our encounters. Well. A specific one really, I told him about our experience in dreams, with your other form.

I was trying to be vague but I ended up being a little more specific than I would have liked. I didn't realize at the time that I'd be embarrassed if the opposite had happened, and you told someone else.

So I do owe you an apology.

[That is adorable and he can't help but run his fingers over his reddened cheeks.]

I wasn't aware that particular encounter was noteworthy enough. What about it did stand out?

While I am charmed by the apology, there is no need. If it helps provide ideas for your experimentation, then do discuss them. Honestly, I would be more embarrassed if you described the copious amounts of bullying you employ rather than those acts.

Apparently I am "a size queen". That's what he commented with when I told him about it, anyway.

And you needn't worry - I will allow only Lahabrea to know how adorable you get when you're bullied.

I think I can guess at the meaning.

I knew you like to be bound, but I was not aware being filled was equally as thrilling. We should revisit the experience again and perhaps again as your female form. I do wonder how much each could take.

[ Well if he was red before, now he's basically burning up with embarrassment ]

I wouldn't be opposed to it.

[ a pause, then he corrects himself ]

I'd like that. ... I'm trying to be more open and vocal about the things I do enjoy.

I will hold onto that idea and surprise you in dreams sometime.

[He runs his fingers over reddened cheeks again.]

There is something about your embarrassed blushing that always wells up this desire to push you. To fully conquer your willful spirit as your form trembles under my instruction.

Though you always do seem to get the upper hand in the end.

[ Good thing then that Emet is particularly good at making him blush. ]

Keep that up and I'm never going to fall asleep at this rate.

If I exhaust you enough, you will.

Your choice. I read to you or get up on all fours.

[ He's been up all night, he's already tired, and it feels like he's getting too much action lately. Is that a good thing? Is that a bad thing? It's a good thing, isn't it, so why does he feel like he should chill? He is an adult after all, catching up on years of forced abstinence.

The dilemma is so clear on his face like he doesn't know if he should listen to logical, reasonable brain, or horny brain ]

. . .

And if I chose the latter. What did you have in mind.

[He can't help but chuckle a little at that face. He's not quite sure he's seen it before.]

Such an expression.

A single round of manhandling you until release with assertion of physical dominance. I was also considering borrowing your phone to purchase a toy or two.

And if you do not desire it at the moment, we should probably change the subject before I will require a cold shower.

[ he is so very conflicted, and clearly giving it some thought.

But eventually he just goes to grab his phone and hand it to him ]

I could resist one round of manhandling.

[He takes it and begins to browse.]

Might I ask what is causing the hesitation?

It is a ridiculous concern but I trust you won't laugh at me.

It feels like I'm having too much sex. Not that I'm displeased with it. But shouldn't I show more self-control?

You find it exciting, challenging and a new way to express yourself. And comforting besides.

Aside from the complications of potion use, I believe the largest downside is an unwanted audience.

[He thinks for a moment.]

You obsess over other topics. Why is this one an exception?

My other "topics" don't require another person to join me in my activities - though I welcome it with a few select people.

I suppose I don't want to give the wrong impression. As if it's the only thing I'm interested in when we spend time together.

I told you it was a ridiculous concern.

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