firstworldproblem | IC Inbox 2 (Imeeji)

Absinthe was the first I told of my past, and it did go better than I could have expected. I am used to more hostility, honestly. Though when one has a stake in the matter it does become more personal.

[Hm!!!]

... But his circumstances are quite similar to ours, aren't they? Losing everything and everyone he's ever known and loved - in such a cruel manner, too. Forced to exist in a changed, alien world. Alone... for a terribly long time. It's not surprising your past struck a chord with him.

What happened to our star was more cruel, his personal circumstance was even more so. Even throughout the eons, I had the other two to cling to as unsteady as we were. He was betrayed by whom he loved most.

And that doesn't even begin to speak of Bahamut, a truly worthless god if there ever was one. Zodiark, great as He is, did grant our desire.

[mmmmMMMMMMMMMM doubts about Zodiark.]

... truly, I haven't much other than contempt in my heart for Bahamut. Forcing Absinthe to bring death and suffering to so many people, and condemning him for it at the same time...

[He pulls up a knee to himself, hugging it and resting his chin on it thoughtfully.]

... Perhaps it would explain why he had started to take pleasure in being cruel to others. Trying to maintain at least some control over his life and fate...

I don't believe Absinthe in the end minded the death and destruction he wrought for those that had wronged him. It twisted inside of him into an ugly thing.

But I cannot imagine what agony he must have lived in with his isolation and having no path forward. He could not even choose to die, Bahamut's hold on him as it was along with the Starscourge.

And that is why removing the Starscourge from his soul is not a task I would take lightly or ask just anyone to join me in. It might not seem as grand as the rest of what we are planning, but it still rings with importance. To break him of the Starscourge is to give him true freedom. Something that he has not had since his imprisonment.

And this is excluding the memories that overlay his own and how confusing that must be.

I'd asked him if he wanted to be free of the Starscourge... and it seemed as though he couldn't quite fathom the idea. He tried to assure me that it was unnecessary, that he'd "adapted" to it quite well... But in the end he admitted that there is a difference between simply adapting and enjoying something, and that he cannot think of what kind of change removing the scourge would bring in him.

He'd... really quite given up on himself, hadn't he?

[He raises his eyebrows.]

What's this about memories now?

Presented with so few options, is it truly surprising.

For every being he infects with the Starscourge, their memories become his own. And considering at which liberty in which he used it and even absorbing what they would call a 'god' his mindscape is rather ... crowded.

His own mind is another aspect I'd like to give back to him.

I see...

I want him to be free, too. But it is a delicate matter, and I want to make sure that we do not prioritize our wants over his.

I'm almost insulted you would imply I would. Ever do I have a delicate hand.

[So sarcastically said. You know the voice.]

I would never force a decision on Absinthe. Though he knows not of it, it was a promise I made to myself for him long before even Cosmo was here. He has been denied free will for far too long, and I will not take that away from him.

The desire to come to Amaurot was his choice. Had he desired oblivion, I would have helped him down that path as well.

This, coming from the man who confessed to enjoying making others uncomfortable for their growth? I do wonder if you can proclaim to be a gentle nursemaid to others.

[SARCASTIC RIGHT BACK AT YOU, EMET]

He did tell me he wishes to come to Amaurot, yes, though finding his rest is still his ultimate goal. But he simply seemed to have.. mm, not reservations as such, but - a lack of certainty regarding the untangling of his soul. He kept saying that he sees no point in it, given that his ultimate desire is to end, but did not protest against it either. I got the impression he had simply never expected to ever be free of the scourge, and thus does not know what to think about our intentions.

Then would it not be our goal to provide him with a solution? If he takes it or not would be his choice.

Yes... I like that way of putting it. Although selfishly I do hope that he would take it, and that he would leave the thoughts of his demise. He deserves his rest more than anyone, of course, but I want him to find a future. He was rather denied one.

While I believe we have time to convince him, in the end if he does choose that path, then we will simply have to watch over his soul to ensure no one can disturb it. And he can rest in piece.

Of course. As I said, he deserves his rest - greatly.

[Gives Emet a Look, though.]

And... perhaps another incentive we have to help him is that he was quite curious about what it's like to join souls with another.

I suppose I should have entertained that with him in a dream. A neglect on my part. But we have yet time, do we not?

I know that isn't the 'purpose' of which you seek. But I hope that it is a start.

... it is a start, yes. Thank you, Hades.

[He rests his head on Emet's shoulder.]

I took another memory the other day.

[He wraps his arm around him.]

Oh? I hope it was a pleasant one. Tell me about it.

[Ancient snuggles time!!]

... I wish I could say that it was. But I believe it was the creation of Zodiark.

Not necessarily the happiest memory then. Our solution. Our salvation. None but He could prevent our star from ruin.

... but it took so many to bring him forth.

In the memory, I simply... stood and watched. And I remember the sorrow and the guilt. I should have joined them, but I had duties yet...

I would have gladly joined in the masses had I not duties as well.

He was the best solution given the time, the constraints. Nothing but warping the laws of reality could have saved the star.

[He stays quiet for some time, giving a small nod to show that he heard Emet's words - but it's clearly still a heavy topic for him.]

... I want to find the cause. What brought the Final Days about in the first place... and put a stop to it.

[He nods.]

We never had the luxury of time before. Perhaps this time we do. Zodiark will be needed, but perhaps we can find a different cost.

[Of Course Zodiark will be needed. But Levity is being careful about this for now.]

Can you tell me more about Zodiark? Lahabrea speaks of him as a person, someone he knew face to face...

[His tone turns a little flippant. The subject a sore one rather than Levity's question.]

Zodiark is a concept, but he does have a heart. One of our own on the Convocation was best suited for the task though none of us truly wanted to see it through. But again, such options we were not given the luxury of having.

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