[He gasps as Hades pierces into his aether, growing still and shuddering, but manages to turn it into a chuckle.]
But they don't have to know what we do together...
[And as Hades digs deeper into his aether, there is little to no resistance, apart from what might be called shyness; there are things Hythlodaeus worries about him knowing about, all those moments of anger or disdain or other negative emotions.]
You should tell them. If only for the look on their faces.
[At the shyness he does pause. Not because he thinks Hythlodaeus is unwilling, but he wants to make sure he is comfortable. That every care is given to him. Thus he brushes up his aether into him, mingling, pausing to ask the question.
Come now, I'm not that cruel... But I do agree it would be amusing.
[He takes a deeper breath, bending his head against Hades's shoulder to make himself relax. He does want to share and he doesn't want to hide, but there's some residual fear that having an uglier side to himself would disgust Hades. But the fear is nowhere near as strong as it used to be; he does trust his friend, completely. He just needs a moment.
Well, you know how it is. It can be quite scary to open up, can't it?
What's bared when he finally lowers his defences... are all the times in Imeeji that he's been angry with other people, sometimes not just angry but furious, even at Hades and Lahabrea. And something of a flipside to them, the times when he found it so easy and natural to think of people as... almost tools, or pawns maybe; noting their thoughts and reactions and effortlessly coming up with ways that they could be used.
Such thoughts scared him and he'd never acted on them (almost never), but they were there, they are there, and to counteract them he's always forced himself to be a good person, beyond what was natural even for him. But even for Hades, Lily, Lahabrea, Serenity, all the people he's close with he can think of ways to use them, provoke things in them - and wouldn't it be interesting and amusing to see? And sometimes his compassion feels artificial to him; does he really feel it? Doesn't he merely force himself to feel it?
... I'm sorry, Hades. I don't think I'm as good a person as you think I am.]
Sorry for what? For being you. I will not accept it.
[He wraps his arms around him tighter. His aether as well so that all he sees across all of his vision is his color like a blanket around him.]
I've never wanted someone good or pure. Even back then. I adore you because you love and you love fiercely. The way you can predict and push people is part of your charm. Who do you think I learned it from after all?
You are still gentle like our people. Perhaps a bit more whimsical. A bit more mischievous. 'Tis why you and Azem never gave me a moment's rest. But simply thinking thoughts is not judge of character. Your actions speak louder besides.
You want a better star. A better place for those to be happy, yourself included. That is not selfish nor the makings of a 'bad' person. And even it if was, I would not love you less.
[He greedily accepts the mingle and Hythlodaeus will be able to see his own worries reflected back at him as Hades' own. The fear of being a terrible person if the eyes of those he loves. How he himself regularly views people and how to manipulate them to his advantage. The same fears echoed back.
Perhaps that will soothe both of them. To realize their fears are unfounded. That they are more similar than they think.]
You'd best. I have not survived all these years to lose you now.
[He chuckles, endeared, and lets himself sink further into Hades's aether, reaching out for those worries to soothe them.]
I know. And you won't be rid of me so easily, either. I do have some selfishness in me, and part of it is not letting go of my own.
[And in return to those fears he offers affection; he knows now that Hades trusts him, and in the place that they are in now there's no need for hiding or half-truths, on either end. Even the things that Hades considers monstrous about himself, he'll reach for and hold them close to his heart.]
[He gives himself to him, fully, barriers withdrawn. He will be able to see the absolute love he has for him. For Azem and even his shards (though he is grumpy about it!). For Lahabrea, Elidibus, Five, Vergil.
And he does worry about letting him down by loving another. That he is both stuck in the past and pushing towards the future to the point where he doesn't know which path to take.
But he knows that he needs them. All of them. And he's not letting any of them go. Never. Not until his soul is no more.
And he kisses him softly, but with no less desire than some of their more passionate kisses.]
[He kisses back, letting himself to take in more and more of Hades's aether. Even some time ago, he would have felt jealous and insecure at the fact that Hades loves - needs - others too... but not now. Now, with their souls bared to each other, he can accept it as a fact: after all, Hythlodaeus himself has other people that are dear to him, but that fact doesn't diminish their love for one another. Here and now, he can finally feel that he wouldn't be taking second place to someone else - and indeed, there is no second place to take; it's not a competition.
Whatever you choose, Hades, I will follow you.
He doesn't want to break the kiss, so telepathy it is.]
[He huffs tenderly and begins to merge their souls. Unlike the earlier request, it isn't a devouring, but a gentler thing. One edge fades away allowing something else to come. For two to merge piece by piece.
Peaceful. Calming. Welcoming.]
No more sacrifice. If we must go, we will go together.
[Their forms begin to merge as well. The edges of Hades' robe take on that seafoam quality. The sheen skin on Hythlodaeus turns a silver hue. Small things for now.]
[He echoes the words softly, responding in kind as Hades merges their souls. It's almost like a dance, slow at first, the joy of it gradually pulling them in. And joy is the right word - that's exactly what Hythlodaeus feels right now, a feeling that he's almost forgotten in the turmoil of the Production. But he is happy, truly happy right now, at peace, joyful. Finally, things feel right; finally, he really feels like himself.
He can feel the change taking the two of them, and hums curiously, wondering where it will take them next. Them, not him; it's already getting harder to discern where one ends and another begins.]
[He notes that, the joy, and takes a hold of it softly. Petting it, sharing it between them. Adding his own to it.
Adding memories of a time where life was simpler. Not nearly as complicated.
As for the merge, the easiest way to describe it as dark but whimsical. The hard lines of Hades robes mixed with the more iridescent colors of Hythlodeaus. The creature is definitely a flowing thing at at times lack discernable form.]
[He's so eager to soak in the memories of that simpler time, of things being easier, the sheer happiness of existence. A feeling like napping under warm sunlight in a soft breeze.
And once the transformation is complete, Hythlodaeus is of course going to try and spin around. Gotta get a good look at their new form!]
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Re: Day 477
But they don't have to know what we do together...
[And as Hades digs deeper into his aether, there is little to no resistance, apart from what might be called shyness; there are things Hythlodaeus worries about him knowing about, all those moments of anger or disdain or other negative emotions.]
Re: Day 477
[At the shyness he does pause. Not because he thinks Hythlodaeus is unwilling, but he wants to make sure he is comfortable. That every care is given to him. Thus he brushes up his aether into him, mingling, pausing to ask the question.
Show me. You don't have to hide.]
Re: Day 477
[He takes a deeper breath, bending his head against Hades's shoulder to make himself relax. He does want to share and he doesn't want to hide, but there's some residual fear that having an uglier side to himself would disgust Hades. But the fear is nowhere near as strong as it used to be; he does trust his friend, completely. He just needs a moment.
Well, you know how it is. It can be quite scary to open up, can't it?
What's bared when he finally lowers his defences... are all the times in Imeeji that he's been angry with other people, sometimes not just angry but furious, even at Hades and Lahabrea. And something of a flipside to them, the times when he found it so easy and natural to think of people as... almost tools, or pawns maybe; noting their thoughts and reactions and effortlessly coming up with ways that they could be used.
Such thoughts scared him and he'd never acted on them (almost never), but they were there, they are there, and to counteract them he's always forced himself to be a good person, beyond what was natural even for him. But even for Hades, Lily, Lahabrea, Serenity, all the people he's close with he can think of ways to use them, provoke things in them - and wouldn't it be interesting and amusing to see? And sometimes his compassion feels artificial to him; does he really feel it? Doesn't he merely force himself to feel it?
... I'm sorry, Hades. I don't think I'm as good a person as you think I am.]
Re: Day 477
[He wraps his arms around him tighter. His aether as well so that all he sees across all of his vision is his color like a blanket around him.]
I've never wanted someone good or pure. Even back then. I adore you because you love and you love fiercely. The way you can predict and push people is part of your charm. Who do you think I learned it from after all?
You are still gentle like our people. Perhaps a bit more whimsical. A bit more mischievous. 'Tis why you and Azem never gave me a moment's rest. But simply thinking thoughts is not judge of character. Your actions speak louder besides.
You want a better star. A better place for those to be happy, yourself included. That is not selfish nor the makings of a 'bad' person. And even it if was, I would not love you less.
Re: Day 477
... Really, Hades. Where did you learn to sweet-talk like this?
[His tone is both grateful and a little teasing, but there's no hiding the anxious shock that runs through him at that last part.]
Would you... really still love me if I was selfish? If I wasn't a good person?
Re: Day 477
I will always love you. This I do promise.
Re: Day 477
I'll always love you too, Hades. No matter what you do, no matter what you have done, you will always be my Hades.
[Is that possessive? Who knows, but if it is, Hythlodaeus doesn't even notice it.]
Re: Day 477
Perhaps that will soothe both of them. To realize their fears are unfounded. That they are more similar than they think.]
You'd best. I have not survived all these years to lose you now.
Re: Day 477
I know. And you won't be rid of me so easily, either. I do have some selfishness in me, and part of it is not letting go of my own.
[And in return to those fears he offers affection; he knows now that Hades trusts him, and in the place that they are in now there's no need for hiding or half-truths, on either end. Even the things that Hades considers monstrous about himself, he'll reach for and hold them close to his heart.]
Come here.
Re: Day 477
[He gives himself to him, fully, barriers withdrawn. He will be able to see the absolute love he has for him. For Azem and even his shards (though he is grumpy about it!). For Lahabrea, Elidibus, Five, Vergil.
And he does worry about letting him down by loving another. That he is both stuck in the past and pushing towards the future to the point where he doesn't know which path to take.
But he knows that he needs them. All of them. And he's not letting any of them go. Never. Not until his soul is no more.
And he kisses him softly, but with no less desire than some of their more passionate kisses.]
Re: Day 477
Whatever you choose, Hades, I will follow you.
He doesn't want to break the kiss, so telepathy it is.]
Re: Day 477
Peaceful. Calming. Welcoming.]
No more sacrifice. If we must go, we will go together.
[Their forms begin to merge as well. The edges of Hades' robe take on that seafoam quality. The sheen skin on Hythlodaeus turns a silver hue. Small things for now.]
Re: Day 477
[He echoes the words softly, responding in kind as Hades merges their souls. It's almost like a dance, slow at first, the joy of it gradually pulling them in. And joy is the right word - that's exactly what Hythlodaeus feels right now, a feeling that he's almost forgotten in the turmoil of the Production. But he is happy, truly happy right now, at peace, joyful. Finally, things feel right; finally, he really feels like himself.
He can feel the change taking the two of them, and hums curiously, wondering where it will take them next. Them, not him; it's already getting harder to discern where one ends and another begins.]
Re: Day 477
Adding memories of a time where life was simpler. Not nearly as complicated.
As for the merge, the easiest way to describe it as dark but whimsical. The hard lines of Hades robes mixed with the more iridescent colors of Hythlodeaus. The creature is definitely a flowing thing at at times lack discernable form.]
Re: Day 477
And once the transformation is complete, Hythlodaeus is of course going to try and spin around. Gotta get a good look at their new form!]
Well now! How interesting.